"Across clear skies, Among glowing stars, That's where I'll find us."

Because you're still someone that I hold freaking close to my heart, I walk on a thread of hope that one day you'll stop for a second and look at me. Look at how I've destructed myself from what you've built me towards. I will never deny, that my heart has always wavered when I meet new guys, but I always find myself back at where I started; looking straight at you. You are lingering around me continually, and this will be the 4th year since we've even had a proper conversation. Your presence surround me, and if you skin me apart, you will see that my blood drips only memories of you. I do not know how long it will take before I am totally over you, over US. I am always telling myself: "This will be the last post for him, I am happy that he's happy", but look, the more lies I tell myself, the more I steer away from reality, the deeper my plunge gets, the more I hurt. So this time, I am saying that I will never; YES NEVER (being a really strong word), I will never forget you, and I will always blog about you, about us. Although I am only reliving the painful, wretching moments whenever I mention you, at least I am able to feel your presence right around me.

It probably is Karma for me, to never have a closure from you. The worst part of it all is that even though you know there is NO CHANCE at all, you tell yourself that "maybe, just maybe that slithering tinge of hope is there", that you may get a shot at making things right one day. Well, thing here is, one day may never come at all, you delude yourself, and you end up even more wounded, broken, impenetrable.

“Across clear skies, Among glowing stars, That's where I'll find us.”