It's for you and I,

It's another day without having to even catch a glimpse of my silly. Ugh!!! I hate school. On a happier note: I've completed all my homework and left with none. Happy max. I feel so lethargic now, so tired and I feel like sleeping. I've got a feeling something bad will happen. Okay, back to school life. It's mundane. Been hanging around with Elaine, Viknesh, Angie, Guiyu, Sherman... I guess these are the few. Sherman and Elaine never fail to make my daily stories with their little antics and the way they could irritate me till I was angry and back to laughing again.

I guess I could say life is fine now without any obstacles. Still, I feel so different without Irfan. I guess, I was reliant on him well overly much. Afterall, it's been 2 years I've spent with him. And, now the third year with him. I personally thought I'd never ever get to the same class as him cause he was much smarter than me. Maybe I was too sensitive, and I caused things to turn this way. I see him in class everyday, he's less than 10m away from me. Yet I could honestly say I miss him so very much. After what we've become, there's this certain "DoS" and "DontS" Like how I can't treat him the way I used to. I miss him alot, and I believe our friendship is way beyond anyone can even imagine. I care for him so much and up till now I worry about everything he does. Perhaps, I'm not the most important girl friend to him but he indeed was and is the most important boy friend to me. Without him, I wouldn't have came this far. He guided me to someone I am right now. And even when I tried to make things right, my jealousy got the better of me and things turned out worst. When he's in front of me, I feel like telling him all these but words couldn't come out. I felt like sending him a text, but my ego was way too big. But for now, I don't wanna regret this decision. I've made up my mind Elaine, and now I'm trying. I shouldn't care about what that girl thinks because it's between me and him now. And just so you know, he turned me into a better girl. I'm very glad to have had him. Maybe I still need time, I'm so used to calling him "husband" and now, I don't know what to call him anymore. It feels weird without you eventually, like a missing piece from my puzzle. Here I just want you to know, you and I may have changed, you and I may be apart, all I want you to know is, just like you, the last thing I'd ever wanna lose is our friendship. And from the bottom of my heart, I love you.

I'm so happy being able to put my ego down to say all this. Whether or not he reads this, I don't know. At least I know I've tried, and I'm happy. Still, I hate that girl maximum. Updates soon.