Why are you trying so hard?

I don't get why I'm always letting myself fall into a situation as such that I'm stuck. Why can't I for once just do something right and not regret? I talked to Elaine, I talked to Sherman. Both of them really helped a lot. Elaine told me so many things, and I guess you could say that we're in the same boat. I hope we both can do the correct things. As for Sherman, thanks so much for what you've told me. You gave me new views that no one told me about. Still I know the final choice and decision still lies in me. And for whatever the choice I make, I should know that there will be a consequence to fork out. Fear not, I'll make myself stronger and when I am, I will carry out what I'm planning to do. I cannot continue being so selfish, I can't, I shouldn't. If I love you both, I should choose. I shouldn't drag anymore. But please, I need time. Give me a month and a month and a week the longest.. Just so you both know, I never wanna lose either of you.

I can say that life is getting hard for me, I often find myself catching myself day dreaming during lessons. Not that I want to, but that I can't help but think. And every single time I want to do certain home work, I think again. Life is really hard, but who can I run to? No one? Chloe Chloe, save yourself. Decide if you want things to end in a communism way or democratic way okay?


On a happier note, I completed drawing the piece I had for art.. So I'll be painting, but the deadline is on my Clone's birthday. It's arriving so soon. This sucks. Life sucks. And I suck. I hate life, no. I shouldn't use hate. I dislike life... Ugh... save me from this agony anyone?

To make it short, here is how I'm feeling now :

Happy birthday dear, it's the 31st July. I love you.

Ask yourself:
If I tell you what I did and who I really am, would you truly accept me for who I am?