If I miss y'all even though I said I don't like y'all?

Sudden thoughts that ran through, sitting on the edge of my bed. Looked through the window, with the leafs falling from the tree. I miss 4E1. I never knew I would, if y'all knew me well enough, you'd have known how much I said I detested this class. But I did, I just thought of you guys. So might as well, just have these all typed down and dedicate a post to beautiful people like you all. After entering poly, and I look back at those times that we had quarrels, disagreements or even attempts to ostracize groups of people, it is definitely small compared to what I'm having to go through rn. I love how all of you still care, (at least that's what I feel) even though we have disagreements, feeling's that if anything went wrong, I'm pretty sure I'll have your back right on mine. I'm suffering badly, trying to fit in somewhere in this new class. Things went extremely well for me, for the first few weeks then it turned about. I don't know if y'all (4E1) agree with me that I'm actually always just trying to show how tough I am on the outside, and that I'm super unfriendly but I'm actually the opposite? I'm nice to the people who are nice to me. And if I'm too nice, I'm labelled as "fake". Let's leave that topic for that moment, I wanna have a small part of the post for everyone of you.

Angie Ho: Thank you so much for always being here for me. You've always been with me, even though hate was going all around. You were my listening ear and yeah, I'm glad we're still friends rn and that I can still comfortably tell you things that are in my mind. It's nice to find a friend like you, to be able to talk to and all. I hope you'll do well in your Junior College and get a good job in the future!

Elaine Boo: Hey crazy girl, I like how we always have this love-hate friendship going on. It's like no matter how harsh we get on with words, I'm glad we still make our way back to being friends and that everything's alright. I like how you can always give me nice advices, and that at times you listen to me too. I miss you whining to me in a way or so, no one to disturb me, so I look forward to meeting you every year, at least once okay?

Wahyunisah: Babygirl, I remember we had a lot to talk about, and there was once we had a conflict, it was silly as I recall, but then again I'm so glad, we're all fine now. I like how you give me nice advices, and the nice cards and presents that you give me. 2 years is too short for me, for this friendship we have, I wish so much to have you in my class again because you were a really nice friend. I hope you'll be a positive girl and keep on smiling!

Sufiah: Hi bitch! You remind me so much of 2008, perfect days, for me. I miss you, and the family so much. You & Hady, Me & Irfan, Ezra your son, Mayank my son, Danraj the uncle. It was all good times, good memories. And that you were always by me, as my friend for the 2 lower secondary years. You're so wonderful, and I'd give anything to see you happy always. Because you deserve happiness.

Felicia Tao: I'm sorry? Maybe it's time I really put everything down, like for good. I've never wanted to say sorry, because I don't think I've done anything wrong, have I? To be frank, I hate how we are rn. At the start of Sec 3 when the 5 of us were so close, before anything happened. And I hate it even more that I allow a guy to actually be an interference of my friendship. I hope, that we could, or the very least I could, find it in me to accept you to really be my friend. Because in all's honesty, you were a really really good friend.

Renice Woo: Hello Aunty, I know I still owe you your present. I miss our free period times, where we always talk about many people along with Shanthiya and Weikeat. You're the funniest friend I ever had, don't ask me why, you just are. I like talking to you, you're nice to "bully", a little like Elaine. Okay, not comparing. Well..... invite me to you & your boyfriend's wedding okay?

Chong Jia Qian: Cousin hi. I hate how we're still in the same school but we don't get to see each other. Why is that so? Ugh. You're the most neutral friend I ever had, no hates, no loves. But that's good I guess, I miss talking to you and seeing how you & Renice talk. Because when you both talk, it's like a show on-going! I hope to see you soon.

Lou Guiyu: Remember when I confronted you?? Okay I thought that was pretty silly when I look back rn. I could have handled it in a better way. Like I've said though, I'm happy we're okay now. I like out twitter conversations, and oh I love how sociable you are. Do stay that way and... thanks for teaching me how to be a man!

Mei Xin: When it's 2030, you better fulfill your promise okay?! I have evidence so you better not go back on your words. I like how you're friendly and all. And that I can tell you things, because I believe you'll know what to say and what not? Hope in 2030, my wish will come true!

Vivien: I'm not close to you, like we hardly talk but thanks for telling me that day that first person you thought of to deal with someone like that is me! I'm really proud to be remembered as head-strong. Stay happy with Caon!

Shanthiya: Hey Thiya Shan, love our sessions during library time and I remember how Renice always bully you. Well, I'm happy that you've graduated! Hope we both can catch up real soon.

Irfaana: Hi, I really don't know what to say, but oh thanks for letting me copy all your answers for A Math in 2009! Hope you're leading a good life rn!

Shalice: So sorry, I'm not close to you either and we hardly talk, however still hope that you're leading a good life!

Christina: Hey, thanks for the Art memories...if there were any. Oh, hope you're studying in a good school!

Jia Hui: Thanks for attempting to teach me A math in 2009, even though, I could admit, I was a major fail. Thanks, god bless you.

Muhammad Irfan: The only thing I want now is: Closure. Is that too much to ask for? Often I find myself wanting to sit down and have a talk with you, to clear question marks in my mind. But it's so hard. I don't wanna be a wrecker, I'm over that since forever. It's so hard to be friends, why? I get all awkward with your presence lingering round me, and I can't talk to you. Forever I feel as though you're trying to keep a safety distance from me. Don't do this. I need closure. After that, I'm able to move on. Because you're not giving me closure, I can't move. I'm stuck. I'm just happy that you're living a good life rn.

Viknesh: I love you. Thank you for being there for me, like always. And though we have "quarrels", it's like we always make things up. You've been like there to support me, my pillar of support. You're one of the best friends I've ever had. I hope to see you again soon, have a talk, because I miss you. I hope you're doing great with your life, you deserve it.

Sherman Koh: Hello irritating boy! I'm always not used to not having you around especially during class outings. Sorry that our friendship fell apart for that tad bit while because of someone else, I never liked that to happen. Yet again, glad we're back to being friends. I like your attitude towards things and all. I'm sure you can do well in your studies, just learn to focus!

Nareindharan: Hello there, you've been a great friend since Primary school, and we are like lovers... okay no. Oh well, glad to have you as my classmates in my final two years of the secondary school life. I know you'll be here for me even after years later!

Ahmad Kamal: Hello Kamal, you've been a nice guy. Thank you for being a friend to me. Sorry if my advices never really worked through the past few months. I hope though that, you've past through that obstacle and you're much more stronger than before! I hope to see you around, and do study hard!

Aravind: Hey, thank you for teaching me math! You've been an awesome friend! I like you so much! I'll see you real soon, hopefully. And I hope you'll graduate from AI with a very good score alright!

Shahied: Hi hi, thank you for all the things you've done,(small or big), and for being a friend to me. You've been really nice to be, especially through the ending months of last year. I'm sorry if I've done anything bad or whatsoever especially towards you. Please take good care!

Helmi: We've talked, but not really in-depth. So yeah, but it was great having a classmate like you. I like your attitude towards things too!

Weikeat: Hey I'll always remember you for looking at girl's...... okay please don't do that anymore! Besides that, you've a very cute character and I like that!


Zhongxian: Hello handsome, glad to see you the other day. Thank you for being a nice friends for the past two years. Please do well in your studies!

Bryan: Hi Bryan, you've been a nice guy! Thank you for being nice and all, hope you'll do good in studies because you're a smart boy!

Teng Kiat: Hello, Happy 10 years of knowing you! Your face hasn't changed a bit at all! You're more anti-social now though. Hope you'll get going and not disappoint your mom or anyone okay!

Arvin: Hi Arvin, thank you for talking to me and being my friend. It's nice to have known you!

Teenesh: Teenesh, I'm so sorry about the Shahrul incident, it was really silly as I look back, I'm glad like how I mentioned in this post towards others that we're still friends. Hope we will still be friends in years to come.

Yew Yuan: Hey, knew you since Primary school, you've changed to being someone so much more hardworking and that's good! Hope you'll get good results out from your Junior College!

Rooben: Hello there, hardly talked to you too, but hope you're doing great!

Quan Hui: I never had the chance to really converse with you, but I hope your attitude will get better in years to come okay!

Ram: Thanks for uh, teaching me math at times! I hope you're leading a good life!

Alex: Hi you're irritating, but, still, a good friend. Thanks for forever letting me scold you during lower secondary days!

Jonathan: Hey hey hey although you've been really irritating at times, I know you're a very nice friend, maybe not to others, but to me you were great. Thank you so much.

Wei Xiang: Thanks for being nice to me as how Jonathan was(though irritating), I hope you're leading a good life!

Wei Hien: Hello dude, I'm not close to you or whatever but hope you'll learn to open up more to the surrounding people yeah.

If at all I wasn't a nice friend, I take a step away from my ego, and apologize.

I hope all of you, this wonderful bunch of people, will be able to lead a good life ahead of you :)