“I can live without you but, without you i'd be miserable at best.”
This sentence revolving around me continually. I've been living 17 years of my life without you, and I don't see why I'd die or have any calamity befall on me should you leave me. But the truth is, if you ever leave, I'd truly be miserable at its best.
Mentioned that I should blog when I'm happy...I am..partially happy? So...I just feel that whilst I have this emotion in me, I should probably blog something on a happy note.
I am happy. I know how it doesn't sound convincing at all, but I am happy; sort of.
The little things that people do in life, can basically light up your day, unexpectedly. Take how this guy was willing to give way to me while queuing up, or the fact that a random stranger came up to me with a rose and asked me to smile because he said I'd look a hell lot better if I did, perhaps like when another offered to carry my bags of purchases because he felt like I was struggling. These guys, I never knew yet, they plastered a smile on my face.
I was terribly upset yesterday, I know. But I can't help it because sometimes I'm just filled with all these thoughts. I'm a girl and I think. A lot. I'm still learning to rein these emotions in. To, express myself like a guy. I'm still learning.
To be quite frank, I still am thinking about all the things I thought about yesterday. Although, I don't feel the immense sadness as I did before, it still lingers around me.. I will try to be happy.
Because it pains me when, you're sad and I'm the cause of it.
Okay haha this is sounding more sad as compared to it being partially happy.
I'm not really hoping you read this.... But if you happen to:
I just want to say how thankful I am for having you as part of my life. For being ever so tolerant towards my insecurities. And how you always do the things that make me smile. I'm gratify upon having you.
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Sometimes it's just weighing on me, all the what if(s)... I carry such huge amounts of negativity around me.
Okay I give up in making this a happy post haha. It sounds so so so sad. I promise the next time, it'll be something happy.
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