Once bitten, Twice shy, Third time stupid

"Don't hold on because you think there will be no one else. There will always be someone else. You've got to believe you are worth more than being repeatedly hurt by someone who doesn't really care and believe that someone will see what you are really worth and treat you the way you should be treated"

This quote struck me hard today. That is, don't hold on because you think there will be no one else, because there will always be someone else. And then I recalled an entry I made back in June in my "Secret diary", which I will be sharing a part with you guys today.

You know it's true, I bawl my eyes out every single time I thought I had a chance with a guy and he just bursts that bubble and I always thought I'd die or perhaps get my hand maimed on have my wrists slit. But at the end of the day, I get over it. I do.

I realized, one of the biggest reason why I hurt so much sometimes was because the way they made it seem like I had it. Like I had what I wanted in my hands when in actual fact, was part of their "How to kill boredom plan 101". Honestly? If you don't like someone, not even the least interested, and you know that you're just talking to them because you're bored, LET THEM KNOW. Because it is really unfair. You let them think they have a chance, they build on it. Hopes on expectations, and then bam, disappointment fills their heart and all they're left with are at their wallowing self.

I know how it's fun, having someone fork out everything they have for you. Knowing that they will put indefinitely effort in whatever you want them to do. But that's just plain cruel, and mean. It is never nice to have your feelings played, neither it is easy(I know) to let someone's heart be broken. But if you lead them on, it will only hurt even more.

For me, it's TWICE SHY. Kinda silly huh? Knowing it would happen this way, yet I... let it be. Because I really liked him. You just know it, when someone loses interest and you have to move on. I didn't regret letting J go just to talk to him. My only mistake was letting him in again after a year, knowing how he mercilessly left me hanging then. I should have known, he would do it again. Funny but, I still carry hopes, and I care; which happens to be my biggest weakness.

I could see myself next year, having him leave me this time and converse with me again then, and I will still talk to him. Because I'm a total sucker when it comes to him. The worst part? I'm so fatally attracted to him, but guess what? I've never met him before.

So hey if you made it down to this entry, I've made a video to go along with this post. The main purpose of that video is not about letting y'all see me or whatever. So webcam quality is bad, laggy. And I think if you really wanna hear the video you may have to plug in the ear-piece cos it's really soft. But I did this video because I wanted my readers to know how I felt when I blogged this entry. Just hope you guys could feel what I felt when I had all these typed out. Other than that, cheerios! X