It has been so long since everything happened! And this would be the 7th year that we could have still remained best of friends. I always remembered how you promised me "10 years down the road, we will definitely still be friends". And although this will never happen, I am happy enough to be able to know how you're doing from time to time.
I truly feel happy for you and the bliss you have gotten yourself because I know you fully deserve it. You've always been so humble and even though the boys were much rowdier than you, I know that you've always knew your place and you kept your stance... look at how accomplished you are right now. (To others, or even to yourself it may be nothing. But to me, to see you grow up into the man I knew you'd be satisfies me more than anything else).
You're this knot I have failed to untie, and I question myself often if it's because you're really so hard to ditch or if it's because I refuse to let go of you. For the past 3 years, I know and I realize that it's time to let go. Every 23/05, I tell myself: that another year has passed, another year you've spent not talking to him, another year he's happy with someone so much more better than you, another year that you've made through without him in your life. But after every crush I have, or any doubts I have towards anyone at all, I find myself always falling back on the shadows that we use to have. You were such a huge part of my life. And losing you... was a GREAT deal to me. I have been trying so badly to put a fullstop to our story but I cannot find the courage to do so. And I cannot do so, not knowing what went wrong that year.
I need to hear your explanation, even though it means nothing to you. Because I know that it is really really time to let THIS go. And I want to move forward, simply keeping you as part of my memory that has PAST and not a memory that lives in the present to be carried to the future. I wish not for you to be an obstacle in my future decisions. I need closure from you and it has been something you're so unwilling to provide to me.
I miss you, and I don't care how many girlfriends you could have, or even if you're married. I miss you. I wish I had the chance to tell you the things my ego held back from me.
You're the best thing that EVER happened in my life. And no matter how many guys that have caught my eye, you're the greatest man I've ever met and I know that nothing will replace this, at least not anytime soon.
Happy 19th Birthday.
I pray for your happiness and to have bliss, follow you everywhere you go.
2 comments:
Cheer up beautiful
Thank you :)
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